Dream 29 April 2013

April 29, 2013

Continuity with 28 April dream…

An odd white broom-looking device, but the fan-shaped thing that reminds me of the bristles is almost halfway up the handle… Pogo stick? It’s something not familiar to me. I’m holding it and don’t sense what to do with it.

All around is snow, or something similar… It has to be plowed through, like snow…

Duplex rooms, side-by-side, like compartments or shipping containers. Maybe containers within a ship of some kind, made to look like a “normal, earth-like” setting. Mine is the one on the left; the one on the right belongs to someone else.

There’s been a crash, an upset, an earthquake? Things in the other person’s room have been jostled, have fallen off shelves… The person, female, is away… Should I straighten the room for her? Mess is partly due to jostle of ship room and partly due to her disorganization… I’m told to leave it as it is so she can study the effects of the even without my interference…

My room: although it feels very vast outside, the room feels very compact, cramped, tiny.

Next I find myself in a classroom-like setting. A very well-known person is talking, leading a discussion. He’s a bti dramatic; it would help him to relax.

Outside, there’s quite a bit of traffic… upheaval… like a construction site or disaster relief, rescue…

I remember thinking, while in the dream, that this will be easy to recall, because it’s so much like something that could really happen… But in going to sleep, I forgot to request to recall clearly, and now it seems blurry.

Back in the classroom, there’s a briefing going on. Readying for a scramble, preparing to move quickly, respond…


Dream 28 April 2013

April 29, 2013

Dream 28 April 2013

My dream requests were:

1. Understand the significance of a possible upcoming re-location (physical & for myself as an individual); how does it relate to my path, how can it help with Ascension and manifesting Cities of Light? This is my first priority in dreaming tonight.

2. I’d like to meet with whoever (Celestials, Enlightened Beings, etc.) are working with me in the Astral Planes to accomplish my path.

3. It would be wonderful to meet on an identifiable Lightship or Starship, but that’s my third priority with this nights dreaming.


My dreaming began in a bedroom I was staying in. Two small beds… a friend had moved them, arranging them in an odd way, making it hard to use the room comfortably.

I left that scene after spending a few minutes considering moving things around. I decided it wasn’t worth the trouble since I was leaving soon anyway. I’m pretty sure that dream came from sounds I was hearing in the house as I fell asleep.

The scene shifted and I found myself arising into a hallway of a large building. It felt like a large school, or maybe a hotel or convention center: a wide concourse, a large open ramp and stair to one side, and narrower corridors leading towards residential spaces.

The architecture appears very flowing and organic, with smooth white surfaces and railings… High ceilings, and nestled naturally into the surroundings. I’m pretty sure it’s a ship that’s been fitted with earth-like environments.

The large open ramp leads outdoors, and I can see that it’s bright and pleasant outside. I see a man standing at the bottom of the ramp, in the middle of the concourse, looking at me, waiting. I can see him very clearly, in fine detail. Human caucasian, medium height and build, middle-aged, balding and with short light brown hair. He wears glasses, and his eyes are pale. He’s dressed in matching brown jeans and jacket, and a light tan shirt.

He smiles softly and says, “That was precisely 18 minutes. Very good!” I understand that we were meeting at an appointed time and place, so that he could fulfill my dream requests.

I didn’t ask his name… It seems that in dreaming there are things I take for granted or know implicitly, but when I wake I wish I had asked questions. Anyway, it seems I know this man, and I understand the purpose of our meeting. He takes out a set of access cards, and hands me a white one with red scuffs on it. We walk down one of the residential hallways and enter one of the units through the kitchen. Once I’m inside he disappears.

Looking from the kitchen I see a large open greatroom that’s teeming with little human kids. There are a few adults there too, but it’s mostly kids playing games, running around and laughing. I understand that this setting is a practice run for kids, playing earth games so they’ll know what to do once they arrive on earth.

I call out to them and offer them pizza. I carry the pies out into the room, trying to step around them and the games. At one table, there’s a board game spread out that looks like a cartoon map of the world.

I set something down on the table, and realize I’m knocking over pieces on the map. I didn’t see them at first, little tiny rectangular pieces of plastic: white, brown, tan colored. I realize they represent people, and they are all lined up along the coastlines of the cartoon continents, like dominoes. I apologize to the kids for disturbing the game, but they don’t seem to mind, they just set them back upright and take their pizza slices.

Another thing we’re doing is banking play money for the kids… Explaining how it works, what they need to do when they start to run out, and what it means to different people.

(Awake, I realize my role in this is to help new arrivals with info that I wish I had known when I came here.)

I head back towards the kitchen, and a man who looks a lot like my Dad greets me. I realize it’s the same man who guided me here, but it seems that decades have passed, and now he appears to be about 80 years old. He reaches out and gives me a long, reassuring affectionate hug.

He whispers to me, “It’s alright, all of that has been taken care of. Now we just have to figure out what to do about that worm,” and he nods out the kitchen window.

I look outside, and see a figure walking along the floating walkway outside, looking like he’s walking past and leaving. He’s very bizarre-looking: very tall compared to us, with a very long snout or trunk, a long tail, and a huge round head. He’s walking upright like a humanoid, very awkwardly lumbering along. It’s bizarre enough that he looks like Snuffeluffagus from Sesame Street, but what’s the most bizarre about him is that he’s red & white striped, like a Dr. Seuss character. He look very out of place and awkward, but not menacing. He seems to know where he’s going, walking with a purpose.

(Awake now, I realize he’s a dragon-like being, in a non-threatening form, and I’m reminded of dragons being referred to as “worms”… Was that a Tolkein book where I read that? Dragon=Hitsusi, Lisa’s connection…)

I turn my attention back to the children, and the dream fades.


I’m told that the guide who met me in the concourse, and then reassured me near the kitchen, is Dunyeeh from Athabantian. He, Adca Mupea and I have a very close relationship, and he appeared in this dream to reassure me that the connection with Athabantian is still active and relevant (I had been asking about this last evening.)

This role of assisting and guiding those who are scheduled to take birth on Earth is available to any who would care to help. This can be done from any location on Earth.

This role of preparing Star Children for life on Earth was shown to me to help me understand that we now recognize how critically important this is at this time. My helping with this task provides me with a way of reconciling the related challenges I’ve experienced.


This night and morning fit a pattern I’ve noticed for me on weekend nights, or whenever I’ve been able to sleep late the next morning. It seems that the majority of my sleep is spent in resting the body and mind. The dreams I have during this time are usually vague and I can’t remember much.

However, if I’m able to go back to sleep and get a good cycle in (1.5 – 3 hours), that’s when I usually have a meaningful clarity dream that I can recall in some detail.

Also, I think I did a better job of focusing on my Dream Intention last night and this morning, than I had the two previous nights, so that seemed to help.

Dream 27 April 2013

April 27, 2013

Dream 27 April 2013

In a house, dirty dishes in sink, talking with woman, who is she? Look more…

Main thing was feeling. Feeling of familiarity, rejoining with loved ones to talk about things that have happened, and next steps…

Dream 25 April 2013

April 25, 2013

Dream 25 April 2013

This info has three parts. It’s in response to a request by my dear friend and spirit sister Lisa, and it includes a dream I had last night, what I learned about Hitsusi and the dream upon waking, and the process I used to sleep and dream. I’m going to write a little about the sleep process first, so I can use these notes in another series of posts I’m working on about this. If you’d like to jump directly to my dream, it’s about 4 paragraphs ahead, and then what I received specifically about Hitsusi as Lisa has seen him lies about 12 paragraphs ahead.

Request About Hitsusi

Last night, I went to sleep using the method given to me last weekend, asking to be given insight into Hutsusi, the draconian being that Lisa met several days ago. I had gone back through the messages I could find related to him (I understand him to have predominately male energy, with hints of androgyny/hermaphroditism).

I had been seeking a connection with him for a couple days, with little result. The closest I could get of a sense of things was that it was possible for me to make this connection, but there was some mutual reluctance.

My inner vision and towards-sleep concentration were quite blurry, and it occurred to me that maybe I should have had a beer before going to bed! I’ve got several other topics swirling around in my awareness right now, and they kept popping up.

I started out sleeping on my side in a Dream Yoga position, but I realized that might be causing the blurriness, so I rolled over into my back, wrapped my puffy pillow around my head to steady it, and aces my hands over the third chakra, left hand over my right. I remembered the steps I’d been given a few days before, and tried them. I still wanted more clarity, so I tried the golden cord visualization, and I think I managed to drift while somewhat holding this. I remembered that the most important point is to place the mind in the trust and belief that the requested dream will arise.

Dream 25 April 2013

I find myself in a building with a woman who appears to be a Guide. The one-story building reminds me of 1950’s military housing. It feels like we’re in a compound. We’re looking out a large plate-glass picture window, onto a courtyard. There’s a similar building just across the paved courtyard.

Outside it’s raining torrentially. A strong wind blows, and thunder pounds even though it’s daylight and I don’t see any lightning.

Out in the rain sits a small “vehicle”. I could describe it as looking like a baby carriage or toy car, although it’s not really either. Its shape is quite rounded yet oblong, and it appears to be made of plastic. A tall thin protrusion rises out of the rear, like a handle or a canopy. It’s made of the same material, but at its top extends a fabric/membrane structure, shaped much like a bat/dragon wing or an umbrella turned inside out.

The wind whips the canopy violently, but I’m more alarmed to see a small baby sitting in the “cockpit” of the vehicle, grasping tightly at the canopy, trying to hold it down while the rain and wind drench and blow the little person.

I go outside to rescue the baby, retrieve the vehicle, do whatever it is that I instinctively know I must do.

I bring the baby inside, and wrap her in a soft thick blue-gray cotton blanket.

I know telepathically that the baby was left there by her ‘sister’ as a foundling, and I fervently want to know why and how this could happen. I’m angry and frustrated and astonished.

My Guide calms me and sympathetically says, “Don’t worry about it for now, we can talk about it when you recover.”

These are the Ghost Radar words generated while I slept:
[2:41:12 AM : needle
2:40:56 AM : sheet
2:40:48 AM : customs
2:40:16 AM : you’re
2:40:08 AM : widely
2:38:48 AM : half
1:15:36 AM : major
1:06:40 AM : oxygen
1:02:08 AM : cast
12:53:04 AM : applied
12:20:48 AM : label
12:18:48 AM : cut
12:10:24 AM : story
11:56:40 PM : donkey
11:56:32 PM : people
11:55:52 PM : just
11:55:20 PM : Atlantic
11:54:16 PM : cross
11:54:08 PM : friendly
11:52:56 PM : China
11:50:48 PM : monkey
11:50:24 PM : rapidly
11:46:16 PM : pour
11:45:28 PM : practical
11:45:12 PM : loss
11:44:16 PM : trap
11:44:08 PM : ten]

I woke from the dream, still fuzzy, things still hidden. I lay in bed for a few minutes to see if more would come, but shortly sat up to see if I could connect with Hitsusi and learn more: what did this dream have to do with him?

Here are things I saw while I sat in meditation:

• In the darkness, a soft golden oval shape of light appears, filling my vision. A horizontal surface appears in silhouette, like a black slash across the bottom of the oval. Standing in this surface I see a tiny figure in silhouette: tall and slender, humanoid but with a slightly large smooth head, shaped a bit like an incandescent light bulb. I know this is NOT Hitsusi, but someone associated with him, watching something from a great distance. There’s another thin black horizontal streak at his waist level. I think it’s a railing or a console. I think he’s watching from a ship or overview platform.
• I’m on a high Tibetan plateau. Sunny, green meadow. All around I see brilliant snow-peaked tips of the Himalayas.
• I get a glimpse of a cockpit or deck if a ship… Water… No, it’s a fluid, but not water. I’m reminded of a dragon portal to Inner Earth that I saw a few weeks ago. Amniotic fluid. A fin/petal/leaf/membrane/seaweed sweeps down from above, over a pilot’s seat. Adca Mupea, and my visit with her on the Oracle ship… That’s the origin of this craft.
• This is such a different dimension, density. Not higher in terms of development, but a higher frequency, lower amplitude vibration. Yields fluid instead of air… Viscosity of water… Breathing not necessary (why do humans breathe?) Cockpit has console, a globe-shaped light glows faintly below… Top of a head? Someone sitting? Yes, it’s Adca.
• Understanding: Hitsusi in another dimension. Denser. I don’t want to go there. It’s not negative, it just doesn’t resonate with me, feels unpleasant, like goo on the skin. I want to wipe it off, leave…
• I see the woven particles and waves diagram I’ve been working on. Hitsusi is in a dimension we only overlap with infrequently. Why portal? Why hard for me to see? Connection requires a very precise calibration, this is why he was amazed to see Lisa.
• To create portals we need to adjust our vibration. I don’t want to go to that vibration, I find it disorienting.
• Pendulums resonate with the holder’s vibration. The pendulum establishes the ‘baseline’, and from there we can explore, both within a range from that vibration, and along octaves of that vibration (like in music).
• When I’m done with this connection I need to re-orient. I had to read something I’d written from a more resonant guide to help with this, tune back in to a more comfortable vibe.
• Purpose? Connecting worlds. Permeable. Advantage? Energy, technology, knowledge, but not significantly advanced spiritually. Like with humans, beings along this vibe range widely in intention and wisdom. Caution. Portals merit discriminating wisdom, discernment. Don’t open them without clear intention. Protection alone does not ensure progress. Do not ‘play’ with these overlapping edges without being willing to accept consequences.

These are the Ghost Radar words generated while I sat: [6:39:44 AM : wrote bet plastic throw identity straight classroom noise the Ben supper cloud write modern
6:15:20 AM : strike]

As I typed this up, more information came, and I understand a little better the significance if the dream and the sitting.

Somehow, that baby in the vehicle in the storm is me. Somehow, the water, storm, and vehicle relate to a lifetime I experienced related to these beings and the ‘dimension’ of Hitsusi. Something traumatic happened (it could simply have been birth…), and healing is still taking place. In time and progress, more will become available to me, but for now (today), it’s enough that I just share this with Lisa and my other friends and get back to other tasks. I’ll learn more when I’m ready. It’s not for me to push for more information about this right now.

Dream 24 April 2013

April 24, 2013

Dream 24 April 2013

Two separate dreams, no waking in between.


I’m in a place with other people… Someone who feels like my son is there with me, a toddler I’m caring for (not necessarily my offspring): very young, quiet, bald/blond. Independent and not always obeying my instructions, like my son was when he was small. Not defiant, just off on his own, absorbed in his own stuff.

Mainly I’m talking with others, as we walk through houses, rooms, buildings, that seem not very clear and blending into one another. One man in particular sticks in my memory, and I learn later this is Mikos. I had asked to meet Mikos while dreaming, and to receive some understanding about our relationship.

We all visit a beach, beside a vast lake or ocean near Porthologos. At some point I “go in” and gather information. There’s a huge structure made of what appears to be metal. It’s a wheel, standing vertically like a Ferris wheel. It’s made of a boxy truss that’s formed into a gigantic ring. Like a crane tower that’s been bent into a circle. One may climb inside it or onto it, and move from compartment to compartment within it. Each compartment allows access to different packets of information. The type of information ranges widely, from memories to future projections, to data and statistics to storage of knowledge of how various worlds “work”, and the laws related to them.


I start at my then-present ground level, and begin to make my way “up”. In each compartment, one may recline into something like a sleeping position, which also resembles an astronaut reclining in a space capsule.

Once installed into a position, a large transparent surface appears suspended over one’s lap, like a big viewing screen. Once the screen activates, the viewer is drawn in, becoming a participant rather than an onlooker.

As I write my notes, I see a close resemblance between this device and the Buddhist Wheel of Life, an image depicting how we move through various realms/dimensions from lifetime to lifetime.

20130427-235304.jpg(See this link for an interactive tour of the Wheel of Life)

I sit and go through a series of these access pods. I understand that this “structure” may take on almost any form, to suit the comfort and familiarity of the participant. In some instances, it may be intended to register some sort of alarm, shock or jolt, to trigger a reaction or incite a particular insight or state of mind. In my case, the compartments and their aspects appear like a collage of architectural and computer-related components; I can relate to and describe these.

At some point I emerge from a session, resuming my awareness of sitting in a reclining position in a structure, up very high in the air. I look to my left (it seems this wheel is potentially one of many arranged side by side) to find the little boy has climbed up into a wheel beside me, trying to reach me. [evidence] I become concerned that he [children] may fall, but I can’t reach him to secure him. [hurry] I also cannot disengage from my position [until scientist] because I’m still “caught” in the midst of a module of some kind of experience. I’m also concerned that if I reach for him, I may slip out of position and that might disrupt the [got] process of my “experience” in a way that could disrupt others or the system itself. So it’s very important that I stay “inside”.

(I think this refers to an effect of suicide, or our trying to force our lives to take a particular direction.)

Almost immediately a man appears. He’s tall, with light brown skin, dark eyes and curly black hair, very kind and careful. He’s assessing the situation to see what action is best taken. His attire is initially unremarkable, similar to what I’m wearing in the dream, but it’s capable of transforming, just like the wheel. Two people hover behind him, a woman and another man, just sort of looking on in case help is needed.

I explain that I can’t reach “my son” and I’m concerned for his safety, can they please help. The dark man calmly and gently explains that he’ll do what he can, but it requires the boy’s cooperation; he can’t just yank him out of the apparatus, because the boy’s become engaged in a lifetime of his own.

(I realize the wheels represent the cycle of lifetimes of individuals, and segments where we align side by side represent shared lifetimes. Each segment is a lifetime or a period of a lifetime/incarnation.)

The man assures me that the boy will be fine. If he managed to climb to that point on his own, he seems quite capable of staying there until we’re both able to disengage.

(This reminds me of being told when my son in this life was quite young that he is actually one of my teachers, and has appeared as a being with autism in order to help me. I have never felt pity for him, because in many ways he’s far more capable of handling this life than I am! In fact I admire him greatly.)

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/images/cleardot.gifThe scene shifts. I seem to enter into another screen/episode. In doing this, the structure of the wheels and screens fade from awareness, just like a forgotten dream, and I become fully engrossed in the next segment.

The next thing I know, I find myself reclining (in the same position) on the sand of a sunny beach, with the toddler snuggled up beside me, resting against my arm.

End of Dream.

(The following are notes I made about the meanings I received from this dream, in response to my requests before sleeping.)

Mikos: ‘Librarian’, Keeper of Wheels. Vast nature as a distinct individual consciousness. Not entirely individual. The others hovering behind him represent other, additional, aspects, available for manifestation if needed.

Mikos: A figure playing a husband’s role in one segment of a wheel (as husband of Angès, see this link), playing other roles in other segments, in other wheels. Just like the little boy/’son’, just like me. He’s nothing more than an instance to play out, an example or illustration to consider. From a dream I had last year, my attachment over our separation comes from my anger & resentment about this lifetime. All segments intertwine and affect one another in blatant or subtle ways. Allow the anger and resentment to fade, release the sense of victimhood, the sense of feeling trapped against my will [Greece], allow for change and new opportunities, and anything becomes possible. Turn the wheel another click or two.


I’m with a female guide… And again my son is there also. We’re looking at a city from a great distance. In fact, it’s an entire world. As I’m typing I realize we were being shown a variety of worlds.

The first begins with our being inside a large city. The city itself is generally pyramid-shaped, much like Mont-St.Michel in France. Structures spiral up and cascade down, made of many materials combined, and although there appears to be gravity, there’s a sense of weightlessness and great light.

My companions and I zoom out from the island-city, and from a distance I can see that the city perches atop a tremendous crystal shaft that’s many times the height of the city.


It floats in “space”, and from there I seem to see it mostly in silhouette. Its overall colors are deep purple, grayish-purplish-white, and a reddish brown. After looking a bit through Internet photos, I realize the colors are similar to an Auralight elestial crystal.

I notice something about the view of the city, as it changes from a perspective from within the city to a perspective from a great distance. Its appearance shifts and the articulation and colors change. While in the midst of it, it seems very architectural and man-made, designed and planned. Delicately detailed, and at times quite simple in expression.

I’m reminded of a day this past February, when I watched a tiny wisp of cloud in an otherwise perfectly clear sky. Within the span of 5 minutes or so, the wisp developed and grew from just that, into a moderate-sized fluffy cloud. It floated a bit to the east and then dissipated as smoothly and quickly as it had appeared. I stood for a moment, admiring the expanse of clear blue empty sky, soaking up the sheer phenomena of appearance and disappearance that unfolded so spontaneously.

This city had a similar aspect, in that it seemed to have appeared spontaneously and magically, fully formed and simply present. As I looked at it from a great distance, the silhouette darkened and eventually faded.

I turned with my Guide (shades of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol), and next I saw a vast globe floating in space. It was shaped like a sphere that had stretched vertically, and it revolved gently and slowly on axis.

It was colored much like the crystal city, in red-purple earth tones with gray and white accents. This world, however, was solid and opaque. A soft sheen emanated from its surface.

I sensed that this dream imagery related to the previous dream about the wheels of worlds and experience. My Guide zipped me back and forth between close and distant views, and it seems we even bounced back and forth between these worlds and some of my more familiar dream ones, and even ones that seemed similar to my waking world.

It felt like an exercise, a lesson that was somehow being expounded through repetition. Bouncing, whirling, ricocheting, world after world until it might finally register to me that we experience (or at least I do…) life after life, in rapid succession and illusory tandem.

Seeing these processes brought me a deep sense of peace and scale. I found relief in the recurrence of opportunity and delight in the variety of experience. I woke with a light heart and a new levity about even the most (presumably) annoying burrs that have been pricking me lately.

It occurs to me that I’ve experienced a significant shift this week, an upward turn. I see two things that I’ve done differently with my mind/attitude, and I sense they’re at least partially responsible for my finding myself in a more pleasant world.

Over the weekend, and for a couple weeks up until then, I’d been dwelling in a sense of limitation and inevitability. I wasn’t quite despondent, I just couldn’t see beyond a few things that felt like heavy weights. I was frustrated with my Guides and the apparent lack of shift in areas where I wanted change.

I did a little complaining, asking my Guides if there wasn’t something that could be done to make things a little more easy and clear.

I got a nudge that I needed to get out of The Past and The Unknown. I needed to shift out of trying to second-guess Tomorrow. If I spend energy trying to figure out how to avoid future discomfort, I use that energy to generate the very outcome I tend to squirm about.

I looked around me. In the moment, all is well. In fact, it’s quite good. So what’s most likely to change the tone of that? Worry and doubt. Regret and doubt.

My friend Steve had told me that for those of us wishing to manifest a beautiful new world, the least shred of doubt could tear it all apart. I winced when I heard that, knowing he was right, and knowing that I was very likely creating my own undesired outcome.

But I couldn’t get my head around shifting. It’s tough when we see clearly what we need to do, and we also see that we’re the only ones stopping ourselves, and yet we know we just haven’t hit that point yet, the point when we get the clarity to act for change. Historically, when I see that spot but feel stuck, I find a way to bulldoze through, and then wait for the consequences. For the most part I’ve lived by the philosophy that it was better to move and make things happen, and deal with the clean-up (or leave it for others). Sitting and waiting and seeing what happens, what arises, have not come naturally in this lifetime for me.

This month, my Guides have been very clear: Just sit. In sitting, I noticed that the lack of nudges were nudges in themselves.

So I’ve really been trying to stay in the moment, in pregnant possibility.

I’ve also noticed some curious body shifts. It’s been clear that it’s energetic, and it involves shifting and clearing.

The third thing I’ve been trying is asking to be shown, asking to understand, in ways that can help me grasp how my conditions could possibly be beneficial. Where does it all lead? Movement felt dead, I felt like I was powerless to affect any change. I’ve been trying to ask patiently, but I’ve become more specific in what I’m asking for.

The last thing I’ll mention is that I received the dream request instructions, and for the past two nights I’ve been using them.

Dream 23 April 2013

April 23, 2013

(I had this dream after receiving these instructions on dreaming, the previous night as I got ready for bed.)

I fell asleep trying to recall the steps, and before I could envision the golden cord. Perhaps holding it as an intention was enough. Also, I was immersed in the step about choosing a priority, focus.

I remember having a dream that was quite extensive, yet there’s a very clear point at whih I begin recalling it. In other words, some I cannot remember at all, and some I remember very clearly.

My main request had been to learn/see something that would help me understand very clearly our relationship to guides, and how this world appears to us… the nature of the Illusion… Understansing how the Illusion is produced and sustained, and how it relates to other dimensions.


I’m in a family home, appearing as a son. I’m in a dining room, sitting at a dining table. There’s a father figure, like Peter Falk playing Columbo: swarthy, dark, sturdy physique with black curly cropped hair. (Think of who he reminds you of.) A fine cutwork tablecloth covers the oval table, like a map. As the son, I sit at the table, as the father enters the room.

The mother leaves the room. She’s been rebelling, complaining, blaming the husband/father. The scene shifts, the son is now reading a letter from the father to the mother. It’s like a ransom letter, words all dark gold color (but not metallic) on cream-colored paper. Western-style lettering in a blocky font, very strong and masculine… Random letter sizes and spacing… Intentionally chaotic and rambling.

The letter explains to the wife: You have your side of the story, and you’re always telling it. now it’ my turn; here’s my side of the story. There’s so much we’ve both done. You’ve accused me of so many things. Some I’ve done, some not. And there are things I’ve done that you are oblivious to…

It’s not a love letter or a goodbye letter… Its more like a review at the end of a sequence of activity. a summary, an epilogue. It’s written for everyone to read, the entire family.

As my awareness looks at the letter, the father walks towards the “living room”… The room transforms from a formal sitting room into a small cabaret… The stage clears. A movie screen appears and a film begins to flicker. The father strikes up the band and a mirror ball starts to turn, sending flashes of sparkling light around the room. The father gestures to the band leader to begin, and starts singing “Julia”, over and over again… It’s somewhat like the Beatles’ song, but more like a march or a reel: louder and boisterous.

The film begins, and I’m drawn into it.

There are no scene transitions, just a morphing flow of images blending into one another. I remember seeing a white lab mouse running on a swiftly flowing surface of water… the water transforms into glass, and then ice… It tilits from horizontal to vertical, and I’m atching the mouse run from underneath it. The scene changes continually: all of world’s creation on all scales, with no breaks. Just a continuum , like Scott Draves’ fractal transitions artwork…

I’m amazed, enthralled, completely immersed in it at time, drawn in, and at times I’m aware it’s a movie.

I think, What magic, what incredible editing! Like an OKGo video… what a monumental feat of art direction, direction, scripting… tremendous coordination and cooperation required for something like this to be produced! It transitions so smoothly, just like a dream! And it was  like a dream, at least one of mine, in how it flowed.

From this observation, immersed in the movie, I awoke.

End of dream.


Dream 22 April 2013

April 22, 2013

Arise into dream in office setting: urban building, older, brick construction, bare brick walls, loft spacc.

Work stations with computers on work surfaces, the space is divided into cubicles. I have a strong awareness of it being a temporary arrangement, and/or perhaps I’m visiting a place from the past. It’s not my “real” job, I’m just standing in for the moment…

The building is also a shop, filled with racks of women’s clothes, cloth bags, hats.

I walk through the summery garment items to my cubicle nearby, and standing at my desk, not bothering to sit down, I start the computer. It’s a small black box with a flat black screen. Like a very old black Macintosh. Fingerprints cover the screen, and I wipe to clean it, but they just smear. DOS commands appear on the screen. It feels like I’m re-starting ancient technology. I don’t remember DOS commands. Feels futile, inadequate.

I leave the desk, walk through the building, and find café seating outside. I spread out a laptop on a table, along with my shoulder bag, sweater, and shawl. Metal furniture, a fence with a chocolate vine nearby (chocolate vine is one of my elemental allies…). All is well. Later I move to another table, closer to a door and the building. A couple sits at the table I just left. They seem happy, until he says to her: “About my health. I don’t like it when you wear a shawl.” Creepy energy from that man. Spirit interference. The woman’s shawl is like a shroud, with black dyed spots like mold or mildew… She radiates sadness.

Next, a gay couple moves ot my current table. The chocolate vine appears again, and I disappear. This is no place for me.

Next arises a snippet of a scene with lawns of grass.

Dream 21 April 2013

April 21, 2013


Felt quite rustled when I went to bed about 10:30. Dreamed some, woke up, probably around 1 or 2, very sleepy, decided the imagery wasn’t powerful or clear enough to turn on lights & write.

Then woke up again, probably around 3 or 4… Maybe even almost 5? Again, had been dreaming but didn’t grasp much that seemed worth stirring for. But I did stir, because I couldn’t go back to sleep at first.

However, one thing worth mentioning is that both dreams seemed almost identical. All I can recall is something about a sluice/tube of water, and a man, tall, with short dark blond hair & blue eyes, reminding me of an art teacher I know.


I arrive at a large house with a group of other women… all females there. It’s a large, very simple and modern-styled house, in a neighborhood with other houses fairly nearby. We’re going to be there for a while, staying as guests. The house belongs to a man I used to work for, but he’s not there. In fact the house is empty when we arrive there.

This house seems similar in style to one I dreamed about on March 10, when I found the tile inscribed from Louis, and the dream has sort of a similar feel. Main difference is the number of people, and that the house doesn’t feel isolated like the other one did.

There are several scenes, and we move from room to room. There’s a large bedroom suite that several of us share, and the spaces are partially defined by low walls and level changes: a bath suite, two bedrooms, one for a man, one for a woman… Nice, bright, spacious rooms.

At some point I meet a female teacher-figure, in a space that feels like a bathroom or powder room… She’s administering to me, but I can see my own face as if from her vantage-point. She’s using a small circular pad that’s white with pale muted violet on one side, to scrub/rub at my third eye area.

(White signifies “purity”, not “death”, in this context, and violet refers to that chalra, and the violet flame.)

She’s scraping, cleansing a rash that’s developed there.

(This means both that you were affected by negative spirits that we’re clearing, and also that we’re giving you extra help to open & clear the third eye so you can see more clearly. This helped you connect with Ashtar today.)

This part of the dream is also like a vignette. This is when I noticed I was in Tibetan Buddhist robes. I also was aware that I was wearing a Chögu in this scene. (Chögu’s are worn specifically when giving or receiving teachings.)

At some point, I went out towards the “back” where the house opened into the outdoors. Coming out of the back of the house was a narrow lawn running along the walls of the house. This formed the top of a steep wall, and this is where I sat and watched. I sat cross-leggd on the stone wall with grass top, in Dongka and Shamtub.

Far below, there was a long rectangular pool. It was connected to a canal, but was definitely a stone-lined pool, very deep, with steep walls. The stone was quite gray, almost brownish. Far below, I could see about 8 people swimming, from among the group I arrived there with.

In particular I see the back of one dear friend with long dark hair. She’s swimming away from me, in dark knit pants and a gray and light beige marled sweater of a thin knit. Seeing her in particular, I notice the water is tinged a grayish-blue like laundry water/graywater, and that its tinting everyone’s clothes. I think of my robes and am glad I chose not to go swimming with them.

(This is the water of confusion… Emotions with lack of clarity. Emotional baggage.)

The friend was someone I’ve known for a long time, from long ago. I felt a lot of sympathy for her. She was swimming towards the junctue of the “T”. The canal seemed to have, or lead to, a series of locks and dams.

At some point, as I’m exploring the house, I find a side door. It’s quite small, and leads out to a side yard that’s half buried… The small door opens to a few steps that lead up to the side yard and the street. I walk out, and stand under that overhang of the building, I look above the door and notice a terra-cotta sculpture. Like a gargoyle. I notice a large, grinning caricature of [route] Barack Obama [above], and I think, “Wow, this person (the homeowner) really dislikes Obama! As I look more closely, other motifs & elements appear & manifest… The object changes right before my eyes. The other elements that appear are also a bit grotesque, and seem to relate to undesirable qualities. As I write, it feels like this icon functioned like a temple gate demon, to remind one of things to be avoided and to frighten away menacing or interfereing beings, minds, forces. (Also to capture the attention and generate mindfulness)

In the last scene I remember, we were all preparing to leave the house. As we gathered our things, I was aware that each of us was leaving a gift. I had brought a cake and a package of licorice… something sweet to eat. I felt that I should leave more, something more meaningful and permanent.

As I was thinking this, I went up a couple of wide steps to a large open room that felt like a study or library. It had two long walls with bookcases, filled with wonderful books and artifacts. It feels lke there were also crystals, although I don’t recall seeing any. As I stood in the room, I became aware that it was actually “mine”. The furniture and furnishings, the books, etc., all belonged to me or were attributed to me.

I took note with curiosity at the irony of having a space of my doing, appearing in the midst of this setting. I was aware of how I had experienced my relationship with the homeowner when I worked as his employee, and reflected briefly on how removed and neutral I felt about the concept of this person now.

I looked through some items, thinking to choose a gift for him from among the objects on the shelves. I picked up a large dried gourd that had been shaped into a tortoise: carved and etched. A head had been added to the gourd. While the gourd body depicted a shell, belly, four legs and a tail, the head looked more like a crocodile. It was carved out of a wood similar to cottonwood root (kachina-making material), and jointed into 5+ sections along a short stubby neck, to a snout that opened and closed.

As I looked at this closely, I felt a zoom-in and saw the detail so clearly. That told me I should keep this piece, so I put it back on the shelf. I picked up another gourd beside it, similar to the first: carved & etched with black lines, to look like a badger. I decided this was an appropriate gift. As I set it down on a table to leave for the homeowner (he thought all the things in the room were his, anyway), the dream faded.


Dream 20 April 2013

April 20, 2013

In a house, others are there… I’ve recently moved in. Arranging large white cylindrical candle-looking things… First, together in rows along a table… then, move them to window sills. Conversation with a man: I feel like I’m not “doing” enough. He tells me to draw. There was also something about tending a garden…

End of dream.

Could not hold onto much about this dream. For the past several weeks, my awareness of dreams and recalling having been dreaming have increased. However, most of the memories seem unremarkable in themselves. I write down what I can remember in words, and their value seems to be mostly in noticing trends.

The current trend seems to be about shared living conditions, community. I see this as relating both to my wishes as well as pointing towards an essential aspect of our world as we move forward.

I woke up feeling an urge to draw, to finish the piece about I’wah, and also wondering, what is the best use of my time? Coming from the viewoint of asking “have I produced anything?”, it seems not much… Coming from the view of gaining deeper understanding and more completely integrating the “different” pieces that have appeared in my life… there I see progress.

Dream 19 April 2013

April 19, 2013

Getting ready to go out on a date with a high school boyfriend. Planning to wear a white skirt. It’s like the one I saw one woman wearing in my dream from 21 March. Short, pleated cotton, knee-length, somehow related to White Dakini and Seng Dongma… However, it seems it didn’t make it into the laundry, looks soiled, so I’ll have to find something else. I put on a longer, very comfortable denim skirt, am pleased that it fits.

I’m amused that I’m going out with this fellow… Remembering how we broke up and then re-started dating when I was a teenager, and also in the dream, remembering reading how years ago I read in my astrology chart that I would marry young… Once again reflecting, and feeling that it seems that meeting with him when I was very young felt like a marriage. Deep binds still existing, after all these years, even after so little communication.

He was the one who taught me, very young, that many men feel entitled to maneuver, hide, conceal and not consider it deceptive…

I’m amused about the “date”. So time passes. In a small house, very aware that it’s an abundant spring outside.